The funny thing about a pace of life is that you get some say in it. I choose what I get involved in and what commitments I make, and those then dictate my schedule. A semester has ended and a summer has begun, but little has changed except the exact tasks. Life is busy, am I right? So instead of waiting for a break to come up for air, let’s just dive right in and talk semester, summer, and Santa Cruz.
-S E M E S T E R –
The end of a semester is such a relief in high school but it’s different in college – more extreme. You’re even more exhausted and there is such a sweetness when you walk out of that final exam. The studying is more intense, the emotions are more intense, the goodbyes are more intense. All of a sudden you go from living with your closest friends to then having to go back to just you for three months. And just you can feel lonely. There is packing and moving out of an 11×14′ dorm. Your 11×14′ dorm – It’s walls having watched immense growth and tears and struggles and your favorite times with whoever you chose to surround yourself with. I kid you not when I say the desk has witnessed the highs and lows – the tears of discouragement during studying (they happen) and the jumping up from relief when you get the grade back. It’s all there and then one day you’re home. There are intentional endings – final community groups, final dinners, final evening. You’ll see each other in three months but remember this is almost as long as a semester, and that can be a bit scary. What if things are different in the fall? What if I find myself lonely when we return or what if my dorm isn’t finished being built when I’m supposed to move in? What if I can’t handle my 18 hour course load on top of all I have committed to?
And then it stops – the worries do. “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself.” “In all things give thanks.” “And I have promised you joy.” These are the sweet words my Jesus whispers. And I know they are true. He will never leave and he will never forsake me, whether I’m in Boone or Raleigh or Santa Cruz. He holds me close and promises his plan – his perfect plan. I don’t have to know it, I just get to live it.
– S U M M E R –
Coming home from college can feel like such a paradox – I’ve been living successfully and fully on my own yet I’m back home living under my parents roof and rules. But it’s good. It is good to be home. It’s good to be back to checking in with my parents before leaving the house. It’s good to get to talk to my mom and have her right there in person. For those of you who know my mom, you know how good this is; and for those who don’t, I strongly encourage you to get to know her some over here. It’s good to catch up with old friends and SO good to see how God has been moving in them this year. The free meals and room and the home cooked food – oh it is so good. The past week and a half have been so busy. Trying to get a summer of reconnecting done in two weeks is a much larger task than anticipated – but that too is good. It’s been good to sleep and good to read and good to take a breath and stop.
– S A N T A C R U Z –
I fly out this Saturday. The mission does not officially start until June first but as mentioned over here, I was given the amazing blessing to fly out early and watch a few of the staff’s kids during their time of planning and meeting. In the next 11 days, I need to raise $1400 to be fully supported. There’s a lot of fear in this not happening, but even greater is the peace. I have had a lot of people let me know they plan on supporting me. It’s always hard to know if this is something in which the words are followed through on or if will fall through the cracks, but that is not my concern. God has made it so clear that this is where he wants me and in his own way, he will provide. I will continue to trust in his provision. I would love continued prayer for this money to come in though. I would love for you to seriously pray about partnering with me in what God is going to do in Santa Cruz this summer. Yes, we really like to keep our fists closed when it comes to investing in missions. I myself struggle with remembering that all I have is not mine. All I have, God has given me with the intention that I invest it back into his kingdom. And let me tell you, from getting to do this in a couple of different ways the past bunch of months, I could not have made any better investment. Preparing to go and spend my entire summer doing missions across the country, away from all of my friends and family and giving up my time in that, I could not be making a better investment. There is an amazing and completely indescribable return when we open our fists and say “God, all I have is yours. Here I am, use me.” Whether this is time or money, do not keep your fists closed. Do not deprive yourself from getting to partner in the adventure and the missions the God who breathed the universe into existence is planning.